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Smart Girls Love Smut

I'm a lover of all words. I'm just partial to the dirty ones.

Motorcycle Man by Kristen Ashley

As I write this review, I’m wearing grey yoga pants.  Well, they’re a darker grey on the outside and a much softer, lighter grey on the inside.  They have a white drawstring, and while it’s not really necessary to tie it, I have it tied in a bow anyway.  They’re really soft and comfortable, and they’re the kind of pants you could wear just around the house.  But if you wanted, you could also wear them out to the grocery store or the mall or the gym or basically anywhere that wasn’t too dressy.

I’m also wearing a pink and white cotton henley.  It has small stripes, not the big fat ones.  And they’re horizontal and not vertical.  The shirt also has ruffles at the neck along with four white buttons.  It has long sleeves that go just to my wrists.  I hate sleeves that hang over my hands unless it’s like a fleece hoodie and I’m outside and my hands are cold.  Then I like it when the sleeves hang over my hands.

My bra is a beige and cotton, but it’s not really a basic bra.  It’s a balconette bra with just a little light padding in the bottom of the cups.  I generally need a padded bra because my boobs are definitely on the larger side and I need the extra support.  And I also need the padding because it’s cold out right now and when it gets this cold, my nipples get hard and show through my shirt.  And my panties are also beige, but they’re not cotton.  They’re that microfiber kind that looks seamless under your pants.  And since my yoga pants are kind of thin, I don’t want a VPL.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a visible panty line.

Anyway, I think I look pretty cute for a Saturday where I’m just hanging out at home and catching up on a few things.

If you liked the detailed description of what I’m wearing, Motorcycle Man is definitely the book for you.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that more than a quarter of the book could have been edited out because it’s fill of endless paragraphs detailing stupid shit like what the heroine is wearing or what they cooked and ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Also, if you don’t have any attachments to correct grammar and punctuation, this could also be the book for you.  Honestly, I think that Kristen Ashley just throws commas in sentences randomly because she’s unsure where they truly go.  And she obviously doesn’t have an editor.  And if she does have an editor, that person should be fired immediately for incompetence.

I know it seems like I’m nit-picking a lot of things here, but come on… I expected more than this form a book that rated in the high fours on Amazon and goodreads.

I will talk about the story, though.

Kane “Tack” Allen is our hero.  If you want to call him that.  I’m personally going to call him a sexist, misogynistic, abusive asshole.  He is one of many “heroes” in this new trend where authors try to pass abuse off as sexy. 

You know what’s sexy?  A man who views a woman as his equal and treats her as such.  A man who thinks that, in spite of her vagina, she has valid ideas, thoughts, and opinions.

You know what’s not sexy? A man who tells a woman that there are some things she's just going to have accept, and some things she just doesn't get to know or have an opinion about because she's a woman.  That infidelity happens and you just need to let it go because it’s none of your business, and this is just the way it is in his world.

Well, fuck that.

And fuck him.

Because we all live in the same world, asshole.


Here’s another thing: Tack has a tendency to grab the heroine, Tyra, around the neck and push her up against walls.  Now, grabbing someone’s neck when they’ve give you permission to do so because they find it sexy is one thing, but doing it while the woman is basically crying and cowering and asking him to stop is altogether something different.  You know what they call that?  Assault.  And the author tries to explain this behavior away by having Tack tell Tyra he’s doing it because he wants to "feel her pulse."  Because he’s so overwhelmed with the need to know she’s okay and breathing with a beating heart.


You know how you can tell if a woman is breathing and her heart is beating?  You fucking ask her.  If she's standing up and talking, she's probably breathing just fine.

This behavior is not sexy, ladies.   This behavior, and our acceptance of it, is what has led to the rape-culture we are currently dealing with as a society.

I love a dominating alpha hero. They are my favorite.  But everything needs to be consensual.  No means no.  There are some authors who understand this and write alpha males I totally dig, and totally want to bang.  Unfortunately, Kristen Ashley misses the mark on this. 

Motorcycle Man was not for me.